it differ from what it appear....

Incomprehensible Corollary

2011-08-11T10:51:00.000-07:00

The days went dark and nights longer,

staring at the wall i started to ponder.

Tried all drugs , ain't made me addict,

I had written the story but still could not predict.

I needed solace, but ran out of opium,

to hide the repercussions,

to end all the discussions,

to save you from the damnation,

I went into asylum...

I counted every hour,

regained my lost power,

learned to kiss the thorns without ruining the flower...

You can see, my symptoms are eminent,

blood on my fists and the holes in the wall,

will remind you of things you can never recal...

Hate me for what i was, hate me for what i am,

It's just your fate and my mistake...

Darkness will see me shine like a radium,

everyone will stand up and apploud in the stadium,

but it's not me it's you who will decay,

even if u pray, you will still be a prey...

Colors In My Life...

2010-05-21T05:28:00.000-07:00

Drunk were the surroundings,
lost were the streets,
as farthest as i could see,
it was all blue.
The water on the ground had the reflection of the sky,
i looked up,
the stars were missing and it was all blue.
My glass of margaritas was half empty,
and the color, it was blue.
I stumbled to my car,
midway was hit by a bar.
I rubbed my eyes to see her smile,
her eyes wide open as if trying to conceive.
She gazed at me, i gazed at her,
she was trying to comprehend,
but i was too lost in the depth of her eyes,
which seemed like an endless ocean,
glittering in the night light,
more so because the color was blue.
Days got us closer,
time just merrily flew,
while we were so happy painting the whole town blue.

Her voice was so mellow,
i was always fascinated by the way she said hello.
Serenading to her at night,
my songs were so yellow.
Fragrance of the rose in her hair,
oxygenated the surrounding air,
filled the hollowness of every landscape,
through the color that was yellow.

Now i stand here alone and stricken,
not able to justify your intentions...
Your heartless execution,
left me in affliction.
Although i am not dead, but the roads are red...

I Won't Let You Die...

2010-04-10T06:11:00.000-07:00

I can't hear you, are you talking to me??

shut your pretty mouth if you can't be louder...

Close your mesmerizing eyes,

or else they will bleed to world's insanity...

Blood on your lips looks so divine,

drain my veins, i wanna feel the pain...

Stay out of my mind,

its time to say good bye...

When you are around i am like a parasite,

get up, get lost its more than i despise...

Can't you read my miserable thoughts of you,

leave before they become pitiful for you...

I am sure i won't hesitate,

there wouldn't be a drop of sweat trickling down my face,

i'll be glad as you were,

when you killed me, fucked me and ate...

Am Not A Pretender, Am A representer...

2010-03-11T08:43:00.000-08:00

The only ones left standing,
are the ones not demanding;
you can't prevail,
if you're not good at pretending;
catastrophically i always end up offending...

Am not ashamed, you're entertained,
but i am not a puppet you can detain...
Stressed through your pain,
i have no right to complain...
Built to pretend, what's your comfort,
if it hurts,
i clean off the dirts,
just an incognito, who can't revert...

My miseries concealed with your promiscuous kiss,
i always get lost in your blissful bliss,
can't speak about the things i miss,
sometimes i think about using my fists...

I wake up every morning,
and kill all my friends,
who just want me to pretend what i can't pretend...
You're so captivating
I want it to extend,
but my soul is so hollow...
I cannot hide what's there inside,
all the things you despise,
i think i will repent;
but please don't force me to pretend...

Her Desire...

2010-01-04T23:45:00.000-08:00

He was so happy to be the new king,
menial serving their heads off with just one ring...
Fanatical and fervent was his stance,
to the things he did and had in mind...

He had the bowers all around,
alert to his slightest sound...
What he ordered was made a regulation,
he was a god even with his evilest inclination...

He was still not satisfied with what he had and what was there beside,
there was a fear he always wanted to hide...
It was an angel in his castle,
he was stuck to her,
and she was not ready to put him in line...
He knew what she wanted,
but she made him blind to notice his decline...

He tried a lot but she was so indifferent,
he prayed to her ego,
and she said there's another one like you in line...
He was not able to retract, from the virus she had made him devour,
it made him weak and tragic at every hour...

Today he got up early,
was very fascinated to see her standing at the window...
He looked into her eyes and smiled,
she always wanted a gift,
which he would finally give to please her today...

He reached at her,
was floored by her smile,
and her luscious smell got to his head...
He moved closer, whispered in her ear,
she was delighted to hear that,
and her snicker broke the silence...

He held a box wrapped in florescent plastic hid behind his back,
he brought forward and unwrapped the box,
was so happy to give her the gift of her life...
She had a vibrant smile on her face,
which broke into an arrogant laugh,
what eventually overtook it was the roar of the gun,
he had a hole in his head which was lying at her feet...

The Ravishing Horror...

2009-11-19T09:38:00.000-08:00

Here i roam again and you still ain't,

time is flying by and you are still ignorant...

The way you danced that night made me numb,

your hair like a flowing river drenched me in stum...

Your hand brushed mine,

the touch took me to eternity,

you came closer making me feel your breath,

it was so intoxicating,

but it was not the time for my death...

You took my hand to put it on your waist,

and put your's on my shoulder,

ironically to the stature you were still the controller...

You closed my eyes and moved like a butterfly,

i could feel your smell,

it made me hooked to you...

It was so facinating,

but that was not my gift...

We sat in that dim corner,

where even the light of fireflies was vacant...

I fondled with your flocking traces,

it felt as if they were making me tangled to you,

still the feeling kept me marching towards the direction of fire...

You kissed my forehead,

your lips felt so fresh as a budding flower,

i went insane to that audacity...

I closed my eyes and let my soul be lost in your's,

you made me fly,

we landed on a mountaintop...

The beauty of the surrounding was ever so profound,

with you it felt like heaven,

our souls were entangled again,

stood there for hours...

Suddenly i felt that you loosen your grip on me,

i felt the wind blowing me away,

i was still lost in the trance of your aura,

till i hit the earth to be sever to pieces...

Endless Decline...

2009-11-12T12:44:00.000-08:00

I gave away a love than again wanted to,

all the complications were made by you,

will i see you again was echoing untrue...

I stared at the skies nights after night,

to see my tears freeze in cold,

but you were never there to console...

I waited by the phone just to hear you once,

but you were never bothered...

I cared for you more than you do,

and you always ordered...

I always tried to explain my pain,

all that went in vain,

because you always gave justifications,

to prove you right and make me wrong...

Now i am not crying,

it is blood all over me,

i am tired of trying,

u still remain blind...

My eyes are filled with fire, to flame you alive

i don't know why i am not able to,

maybe you always find ways to save yourself,

or i am vulnerable to your love...

Seizure Of Power...

2009-10-16T05:24:00.000-07:00

Wings are grown to ants,
it seems the end has come,
have they seen enough,
otherwise they will die sad,
wanting to come back again in this cruel world...

I was born in this world,
the world that's a shit,
it doesen't bother for any throat it has slit...

The power gets the respect,

whatever the aspect...

I had it all when it was my birthday,

but today i am dying...

Save yourself if you can,

if i die you will be the next in line,

you will be drained of your prowess,

thrown down from your egoistic castle to the grave with glasses...

Now, I see myself burn tonight,

collapsed like a budding flower...

I see my ending hour,

and the devil pressing the doorbell,

no one can run from the destiny,

i will realize the incandescence of hell fire,

and the world will follow,

it will embrace the seizure of power...

You Kill God...

2009-08-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

I wish my hands were filled with a gun,
i wanna shoot the world tonight...
All these desolated pitiful cowards,
fill the air with the toxic smell of their selfish thoughts...

If i had the choice i would smack their heads with a sledge,

to kill the egocentric thoughts they hold...

They talk what they want,

and what they want is greed...

But i am just a pitiful anonymous...

Repent is what i am talking about,

if you do that i can leave your eyes...

One mistake from the god and you stop his prayer,

and the mistake you made is bigger than your tears...

When man eats man devil is left idle,

he also has a heart but you don't seem to have one...

The god is shameful today of what he created,

and you feel glad...

If he comes in your way,

you won't hesitate to kill god...

I Wanna...

2009-07-26T23:16:00.000-07:00

I wanna love you like you did to me,
holding your hand i will show you what you can't see...
I wanna kish you like you did to me,
close your eyes I'll make u feel...
I wanna hug you like you did to me,
hold you so close you can feel my heart skip a beat...

I wanna show you what you did to me,
take you to the places i always weep...
I wanna lift you like you did to me,
higher and higher you can see where i live...
I wanna hear you like you did to me,
dark in a place no one else can hear your scream...

I wanna see you like you made me,
floating in the drugs just to calm me...
I wanna kill you like you did to me,
bury you in the graveyard next to me...
So i can make you smell my blood,
and make you feel my breath,
filled with pain given by you...
I wanna kill you!!!

The Unnamed...

2009-05-06T21:06:00.000-07:00

Her lungs are dry,
she'd crawled on her knees.

crawled on the blades of fury,

for the crime she was judged by the jury...

For the days she lived, lie and arrogance were the weapons
weapons of her intentional fake,
all the things he had she always had to take...

Her eyes cold as frost,

drilled his body from the crust to core,
the pain she gave was more than he could endure...

These were his obvious cries,

burn my misconceptions,

let me look beyond those lies,

let me see the place where your darkest heart conspire...

Leave me some air,

for my dry lungs to repair...

Your eyes are so sharp,

they created a hole in my soul,

leave me your footprints, to get back the heart you stole...

Sublime Яepugnance...

2009-04-11T01:27:00.000-07:00

Could feel the dark skies,
and the devil coming closer
all these years he lived by the sward...
He cut his hand to judge if he was alive,
drugs were the best companion...

One day he left it all,
threw every bottle of alcohol...
fought with the devil for his life,
which he once was ready to take with his own knife...

Learned to imagine,
imagine the beauty of thought,
brought back every feeling he sold,
even if the price was gold...

He thought it was his time,
didn't realize that his clock had stopped...
He thought he found the reason to live,
but this reason didn't let him breathe...

He tried to rebuild his castle,
but it was too late,
and he was without the phrase...

All he trusted was his will,

it also left him to a definite kill...

Finally the day has come,

his hands were sweaty,

can't return the attack of betray

it slit his throat...

He was left alone,

lost in the depth of misery,

where regret was also not able to fill his emptyness...

His Love Didn't Die...

2009-03-13T21:19:00.000-07:00

He could foresee the future
still didn't bother the consequences,
wiped the blood shun eyes
just to fake a smile...

He knew the fallout of the destined foray
once he was told of getting murdered by his soul,
still he wanted to taste betray and denial
so he drenched his pride in the black waters...

He walked with a hope in his eyes
his heart pure as his thoughts...
He held a rose in his hand
rapped in sparkling plastic,
he walked with his heart beats growing,
his eyes blushed...

He reached nearer
his pulse crossed the normal,
he looked into those crystalline eyes
lips as red as red wine...
Moved closer hiding his purpose
he was feeling the shivers,
so he closed his eyes and got to one knee...
He was very happy
for the day he dreamt has come,
he progressed the rose with a smile on his face and closed eyes
heard a loud roar of a gun...
Smell of blood filled the scene
he was afraid that his love had died,
didn't have the courage to open his eyes
till he felt dampness on his chest,
he suddenly opened his eyes
his love was laughing on his dismay...

The Fire Still Burns...

2009-02-19T22:10:00.000-08:00

I learned how to fall today, didn't know it will thrill you;
found out i was wrong today, didn't know it will fulfill you...
I know i am hurt inside, to weak to continue;
didn't know you wanted this debt to be paid...

I have lost my wings today, burned by your hate;
I feel my will cannot survive anymore against my fate...
I scratched my skin today, didn't expect you will smile;
but your selfism buried me in the tragic pile...

Now i am cold, too cold to feel you;
but i know the fire will burn till the image fades away...
Let it burn to keep me alive, let it burn to fuel your selfish pride...
And you know that i am dead, but the soul still wanderin;
till i find my lost emotions, till i leave my impression;
till i become strong to face you, till i convince myself to hate you;
till i take a step to walk all over you...

Provoked By Situational Circumstances...

2009-02-11T11:59:00.000-08:00

Circumstances make a curse to the venomous rage,

like the fuel to the burning days...

Agony haunt my life,

frustration gets into strife...

Mind can't think nothing else at times,

and i don't want to but it happens,

that people get hurt by the veracious words...

Everyone is so illusioned by situation,

not able to deny the ferocious inclinations...

It seems so distant from reality,

aren't we matured still,

it puts a question on our cultivation...

Guilt is what endorses my act,

after the time it has made its impact,

mind tells me how stupid i was,

it was all said and done without a cause...

Sense is what i need at times,

when my brain is disfunctioned by simultaneous thoughts of death ,pain and serenity...

I try to control but it has the consequences,

if i acted absurd,

why didn't you fill the substance with the words..?

Cry At My Grave...

2009-02-10T09:19:00.000-08:00

Starin at the sea will she come,

is there hope for me after all is said and done...

Anything at any price all of this for you,

all the spoils of a wasted life all of this for you...

And I can take the pain on my head,

and I can teach my will how to stand...

Even if i am buried further deeper,

I will wait for you till the end...

When i close my eyes,

i see skies filled with dark clouds,

they cry on my destiny,

they cry for my solitude...

Save me now let me be undrowned,

when every thing fall to the ground how can i stay.??

I wish you take my hand,

not to barb a cut...

I hope you open the door,

not to shut...

I wonder why you not give me tranquility,

why can't you let me breathe,

breathe and smell your lies,

it stinks i know from the circling flies...

Even so far away i can still feel you,

I am without a fault i still plead you,

but i am not here to be your slave...

Free me now,

from the illusions of mercy,

free me now,

from the heretics of future,

don't push my spirit into torment,

dig my grave in your yard,

and water it with the tears from your heart...

Hold on behind those Grey and lonely eyes,

hold on to me,

before i am forgotten by time,

dead body still screams your name...

Deathflection...

2009-02-06T19:48:00.000-08:00

Looking in the mirror to find my conscience becomming thinner,
my acts my intentions making me a sinner, the world around me is endless and i am gettin rarer,
is it the reflection of my guilt or the venom my surroundin spilled...

I see greed all around me,
flowing in the veins...
dressed in all this greed beauty makes it lethal...
Circling over my head dreadful souls
make me feel standing alone in the brawl...
Standin alone in the fight against my guilt,
leading to a sense of destroying what i have built...

I want the answers of all my sins,
which i did and which world made me profess,
i will stand against my destruction until it makes me confess...
Every time i find you, you seem to hide behind your so called goddess,
not this time, now its time i am gonna snatch your prowess...
Tragic flickers in my head,
knocking the thoughts out of my flesh,
killing my desire and i know i won't survive,
but i choose life even if i am buried alive...

Smoke,dust,fire,thrust

blood,wound,kill,fuck

shit...

Actually She Had It...

2009-01-25T21:32:00.000-08:00

Till now i was stuck,

drowning in the blackwaters of pain and bluff...

Thinking i have reached the point of no return,

and the only option left is to be reborn...

Then one day i met her,

although accidently but it had a metaphor...

I m still confused where she came from,

or is it that she was really there,

maybe i was carried away by the norms...

It looked as if she was designed to take away my misery,

don't know how she understood everything i said gradually...

We talked for hours as if i knew her for lives,

and shared things i wouldn't with my wife...

And than the clock struck two,

she said she had to go but we both were not finished through...

She went just to come back in my dreams,

so that we can continue and talk about what was unseen...

She came with a captivating smile on her face,

her eyes were so innocent,

pure than love...

She briskly held my hand,

and took me out of trance...

Her lips were moving,

but her eyes were focussed on me,

as if she was making a connection that was so devine,

and filled with serenity...

We shared a lot,

and it was better than i thought...

But at last it was time for her to go,

i never wanted but she convinced me though...

She looked into my eyes,

as if saying she will be there every night...

Than she kissed my hand,

and gently faded as sand...

Leaving just the feel behind,

and a hope that she will come back next time...

unnamed Feeling...

2009-01-23T21:53:00.000-08:00

All the jives , those vibes
vibrations in my head, predications that led...
Predictions that i made,delusions i had...
Innocence in doz eyes,shadows that cried..
Are they real what i feel...

Stipulations on my side,
things i tried..
Functions defined,divaricating the thoughts in my mind...
Creations derivations,
traces of evanescence...
Implications that lead,
are they real or i feel...

Forces around,
feelings profound,
disturbing sounds,
burning grounds,
contemplating the reasons,
there's nothing to be found...
Things i do ,things i see;
leads to pain, nothing to gain...
Is that true or i feel...

Despondent i lay,
disrespecting the way,
provoked by the time,
i try to be sublime,
but that's not on line...
Quarantined to be defined,
there are things i can't find...
As if i m blind,
trying to figure out , without even being able to draw a line...
I m feeling, can it be true...??

Trance...

2009-01-19T19:14:00.000-08:00

I've been there walked a thousand miles,
witnessed all the bloodshed under the blacknin sky...
I've reached the point of intangible stardom,
which brings agony more than magnanisum...

I was on my way to the path of glory,

when i lost my wings and fell to tragedy's foray...
Then the destiny picked me up
and buried me in the grave for me it has dug...

I was on my way to the city in heaven
when i lost my will
and my journey became still...
Then my pity got me to hell,
and i asked the way back but no one tell...

Time and again i m stuck but my doggedness brings me back,
but this time it feels it has died,
fightin with the misery searchin my lost pride...
And the agony looks rite into the eyes direct and concise
to remind me that i m still in trance...

Invitation To The Satan...

2009-01-18T05:58:00.000-08:00

M strollin in your yard, breakin every window of your fancy car.

Settin your fuckin house of cowards on fire,makin your followers bath in the blood shower.

I feel i m by design immortal,but i'll kill every creature you've made and hang them against your portal.

I'll spit on your face and barb it bloody to disgrace.

I m lookin into your eyes and callin you a victim of my act.

I m waitin for you to come and free my soul,

From this world,this world of guilt,world of insanity that's not meant for me.

Enough i can't continue in this world filled with cruel hearts that dwells on the intentions of curse.

I know that you are comin, comin to tear me apart.

All this bitching and moaning will lead to the freedom that's the need of this hour.

I m fed up waitin,come on its on show me what you've got.

Is what i've heard true or you are just a jerk then i'll fuck you through...

Savior Of Demolition...

2008-12-21T12:37:00.000-08:00

Bridges the gap to the murderous cage
Escaping the eye of golden sun.
Pretend to stay on the endless stroll
Gets the power destruction needs.

Defies mmortality upon the grave
Reaches the horizon following the rage
Tastes the blood in the brutal eye
Catches the breath of the air.

Beneath the shadow of the creeping time
Covers the distance from the seven seas.

Kisses the death in its stand
Collects the poison from the hole
Laughs with the devil
Breaking the sorrows

Blood's on the face
Destruction's the eye
Cruel heart's
Enchanting death...

Face The Repercussions...

2008-10-31T06:44:00.000-07:00

Now i can't believe you,
all the things you said were not true.
Your deep shining eyes,
are emotionless for me.
Your always glowing face is blank,
there's nothing i can see.
Your blissful smile,
doesn't calm me anymore.
The smell of your breath,
doesn't thrill me to the core.

I find fire in your eyes,
that burns my spirit.
I see blood in your face,
that cuts my throat.
There is a hammer in your hand,
that nails my heart.
You always make me fall to the knees,
with your insane wit without acting too smart.

The rage in my eyes,
you ignite every night,
can be compared to the eye of the sun.
The pain in my head,
you induct everyday,
can be compared to the shot of a gun.
The emptiness of my soul,
you left behind,
can be compared to the world without humans.

Now i m sick of the loneliness,
sick of the neglection,
sick of u acting like a true abduction.
And this rage will kill us all,
if we throw our heads against the wall.
This is where i can't take anymore,
either i die
or you suffer for every feeling you killed and every dream you tore...

Angel Of Hell...

2008-10-24T00:49:00.000-07:00

My thoughts my illusions are demanding a solution
of the things i tried,
of my disdainfully crushed pride.
Of every thorn stabbed in my soul,
of every cut there in my throat.
About the bleedin gas that took me out of control
and no one listened when i shouted "i cannot handle more"

My dreams were drained out of the bleedin eyes,
it was an angel that gave me the poison always kept for me there beside.

She was designed for my punishments,
providin answers to all those sins i didn't do but was forced to pretend.

She cut me so deep so seamless,
played with my true innocence with acute brutalness.
Left me alone in the acidic shower,
detaching me of my feelings
that saw world in her eyes,
heaven in her face.
infinity in the palm of her hand
and eternity in her grace.

Her savaged eyes burned my soul,
she pushed me into depths of deaths,
when i wanted to hold.
She killed the voice of my thoughts,
and even destroyed the echoes of my hope.
Without even givin me a chance to show my self control.

She cut every vain from my body,
even when she got the blood stains on her wings.
Drilled a nail in my head,
n hanged me in the valley of death.
She blinded my eyes and left me on a two way road,
even gave me cyanide to damage my lungs n suffocate my throat.

Now i can finally be myself,
but her addiction won't let me.
Her memories haunt me,never let me free.
She comes and laughs in my dreams,but i don want to sleep.
And she spits on my face,
when i pray to free my severed heart,
lend me peace...

Destiny Defined...

2008-09-05T07:51:00.000-07:00

When i try to find a way
light always fades

When i try to touch the sky
lightnin strikes

When i try to catch my dream
i fall down from bed

When i try to run away
my breath collapse

I analyze my life
and find myself in question..?

I try to remember
but i m out of retention.

I search a lot
but never find solace

I run after the footprints
but never reach the right place

I cry in rain
so no one is able to trace

I fall in pain
they believe i fake

That's all i have to live with
and now i enjoy this pain

But i fear
it makes me insane

I feel like
scratchin flesh from every bone
killin life from every stone
forgettin you more than i have known

But than, sometimes i wonder
when the clouds thunder
sittin by my window
lookin into the heaven

IS THIS I M DESTINED TO
OR GOD HAS MADE A BLUNDER

Unwanted Expectations...

2008-08-02T13:49:00.000-07:00

Blindin dream

Unheard scream

Discontinous stream

Choking steam

Stormy desert

Deadly hazard

Disleadin placard

Leaving staggered

LEADING TO

Isolation

Penetration

Exaggeration

Diremption

MAKIN ME

Deprived

Agonized

Preoccupied

Contrite

REVEALING

Reality

Fragility

Fidelity

Veracity

Maturing Towards Immaturity...

2008-07-19T18:11:00.000-07:00

Guys at eighteen a bit suspicious, largely keen
Always thinkin till now where they have been

Rather experimentin with their looks, Like a typical teen.

Everyday lookin desperately for the queen of their dreams.
On findin tryin to impress her even payin their self esteem

Never botherin about their efforts gettin unseen.
Callin it true love,
Not even knowin what it mean.

Consequently fallin down,
Buildin houses on hollow beams.

But that doesn't stops them,
Instead lures them to crave for the feelin they haven't seen.

Makin them mature to be immaturer,
Seldom acceptin things as they have been.

AND PROBABLY THAT KEEPS ME BLOGGIN

TRYING TO BE MATURE ACTIN IMMATURILY...

Hopeless Hope...

2008-07-19T12:20:00.000-07:00

I hope that i can shine, as the brightest star

I hope that my new wings of strength can carry me far

I hope that i can go to Starclan, with the Warrior cats

Or sit in kitty Heaven, on velvety mats

I hope that I can accept, that it is time to say good bye

I hope I can stop that urge that wants me to cry

I hope I will miss you, and you miss me

I hope i can live happily

I hope that i once again, have the strength to run

I hope that i once again become young enough to have fun

I hope we can meet again, when it is my time to go

I hope you can remember what fun we had though

I hope to see you with new youth

I hope to see you fine

I hope I can be in your heart, as you will be in mine

I hope i can once again, be King of the house

I hope that i can once again, have the power to chase a mouse

All I’m trying to say, all I’m trying to do, this is all because

I HOPE AGAINST HOPE...

She Needed Me.??

2008-07-18T09:24:00.000-07:00

I was about to fall she held me back
I was on a no way track she brought me back
I was tryin to bring a dream to life she woke me up
Feeling the pain inside she made me tough
Only for one thing probably.......SHE NEEDED ME

I was alone she made me addict
Everything was unknown she made me predict
I was blind that was my gain
She showed me colors to increase my pain
But she was not at fault i was to blame
Coz i didn't realize what? ....SHE NEEDED ME

Thats sad but true
As i did things i never wanted to
But still had fun as there was someone to listen to
But there was something creepy as the things were never meant for me
But she made me feel, that it was not real
That i can also see
I can also be
The one who can win the deal
But i was mislead
Cheated by her innocent looks n witty head
No, she was not i was a fool
Unable to understand what was there behind i could see
The only thing SHE NEEDED ME

All that apart she was good on her chart
Getting the things done without acting too smart
That was the art i should have learn t
At least next time not to repeat the incident
But she never spilled the beans
Instead of me trying to make her reveal
Maybe she had a heart that was made of steel
That was not meant to feel what i feel
But then now i know why she did so
SHE NEEDED ME

Ha, i know it was insane on her part to leave me to become profane
But at least i was not confused as i had no other lane
I was happy to be out of the pain
N cause i thought, SHE NEEDED ME

Never ready to accept the unavoidable reality
That "I NEEDED HER"
N alone i break...

Killing Life...

2008-07-18T09:12:00.000-07:00

Life, something so big and unexplainable
Something we try to grasp while seemingly unobtainable
Life, something that gives us a peace of mind
Something so sweet so divine
Life, you can describe it as something beautiful
With a thousand words
But you can fill it and crush it
With a thousand verbs

Life, something that's filled with blissfulness, excitement, pain, strife, sex, work, and sorrow
Life, something most people take for granted
Life, so fragile like the Earth itself
But we fill it and trash it
With all kinds and all sorts

Life, something we try to disguise
Because we're so hypnotized
By all these
LIES
Life, life is like a melody
Like a song
Its here one day
But the next day it could be gone

My Insane Sanity...

2008-07-18T06:44:00.000-07:00

Fearing for my sanity,
I shed my shirt and tie,
Walked out on my rectitude
And waved myself goodbye.

I did precisely as I pleased,
Said only what was true;
Cared not a whit whom I might hurt
Or what debts might be due;

Chose my orbit on my own
And lived by my own light,
Hurtling through the gravities
That rule the lidless night;

Unknowing in my innocence
The iron laws that be,
And that the more I worked my will,
The less I would be free.

Paranoid...

2008-07-18T03:05:00.000-07:00

My eyes r bleeding,
thoughts r deceiving......
i donno y but da words r pleading...........
lay by da side,
until da dark shades away.....
all da things r fading to black but da pain regenerates to stay
i don wanna die ,don let me slay.....
bring me to life n change my fate...........

Heartbeats r plodding,
breaths r stopping.......
da end is near my eyes r dropping........
i don fear to die,
its something i always wanted to try.......
but its she who i cannot miss,
i m afraid to loose dat bliss......
all da things i say just 1 thing i pray,
i don't want u to become stranger by da day........
look into my eyes to c what i say,
stand by my side don't walk away.......
all da happiness i have its u whom i want to give,
beating da pain inside it just meant to live.........

This is my last resort........
cut my life into pieces if u want to part.........
i was wrong to figure u out,
need u without a doubt.......
can't believe u'll leave me this way,
suspending me in a trap from where i can never walk away........
hold my hand make me feel,
may b this way i can learn to breathe........

Roads r ending,
clouds r thundering,
no clue where my mind is wandering.......
i have lost da will to live,
all da feelings v shared i want to give........
its u who made me stiff,
now i can't take dat biff......
i can die to get fame,
but can't live wid da blame.....
tell me da way so i can become tame.......
don't leave me killing da name,
its u who has become my dame........